Friday, September 21, 2007

Are you ready to make a change?

Good Morning. For those of you who know me, know that I am living in a beautiful new house in CT and have a beautiful newborn baby boy. You may also know that I follow “The Secret” philosophy. Recently I have been practicing the philosophy more frequently as I truly believe in it’s power to attract positive things into my life through positive thought.

I was reading a magazine article yesterday and the editor was writing about how she felt September was like the new year for her. Everything begins to change. Schedules, children are back in school, the leaves begin to fall and there is a chill in the air (if you live in the Northeast).
This morning I was in my back yard feeling grateful for all that I have and I noticed all the leaves in my yard were beginning to change. I thought about how I could implement this into my life. Many of you know that when you have children (I have 4) that things always seem to be changing. Sometimes quicker than we would like but, nonetheless, they change. How can I make some small changes in my life to create the reality that I would like.

I decided to wake up earlier and get myself all prepared before my kids wake up. This brings a peaceful feeling and I am not frazzled when I roll out of bed with them yelling that they want breakfast. I set the pace for the day for everyone in my house. I know that when we wake up in the morning and something negative happens, i.e. being late, everything goes bananas. My children are then shoved out the door and sent off to school with their head spinning.

My intention for you today is to look out around you and notice the changes that are beginning to take place. Are you living in the reality that you desire? If not, what can you do to make a small change that will impact you and possibly everyone around you. As I’ve said in the past, positive thought and feeling is contagious. Once you begin thinking and behaving in a positive space, everyone around you will follow suit. And, according to “The Secret”, the universe will not put you in the same space with someone who is not feeling the way you do.

Have a great day!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Now What??????

Good Morning Everyone. So I was sitting here the other morning thinking about the last 9 months. All of the hibernating, sitting, waiting......now what? Every new mother and seasoned mother's know that after the baby comes, their first thought is, "I want to get back in shape." Or, "I want to become the woman I was before all this."

Then I started running through all of the diet scenarios in my head. I stumbled upon this new diet that I decided to start last Friday and already lost 4 pounds. So easy....I mean so easy!!! So now I am just waiting for that glorious school bus to arrive and I can take Billy the kid for long walks in my new neighborhood. Who's got it better than me? My kids, but I'll save that blog for another day.

Anyway, I was just wondering how many of you truly love yourselves. I sometimes find that when I surround myself with people who are very blase about health and all that good stuff, I become blase myself. I start to just say to myself, "Don't worry about those extra 40 pounds, they'll come off!" As if some mirculouse fat burning cloud is going to suddenly surround me and melt all the pounds away. Not!!!!!! (A little flashback from the 90's)

Now, most of you know how I feel about self declarations and although no matter what I look like, I can still look in the mirror and say, "Hey you beautiful thing!", it doesn't mean I want to be 200 pounds and admiring my bulge in the mirror in 5 years.

So, my intention for you all today is to take an honest look at how your are living your lives via health. Are you eating away the blues or celebrating that new job, etc with a twinky or a half gallon of "fat free" ice cream. Send me a shout if you want to know how I am doing it. I would love to share my success with you all.

Peace.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Cub's Out of the Den

Hello Everyone. Well it's been a while, but I have come out of hibernation. I sat for the nine months and didn't do a thing and guess what? I have a healthy little cub. My 4th healthy little cub. Anyway, Little Billy (William Joseph) was born on July 5th and he is a cute little guy. The kids love him, a little too much, and they are all happy living in their new house. Oh, did I mention that we moved two days before the baby came. Well, we did and it was the best thing that ever happened to us.

So today I wanted to talk about hibernation. It sounds a little funny to some people, but to any woman who has been pregnant, especially the ones with more than one child, can completely understand. When I say hibernation, I mean that all of those things I was doing before I became pregnant, blogging, promoting my book, etc, I stopped. Actually, I am very lucky. I have a good husband who helps a lot, children who listen most of the time and I have the luxury of staying home with my children. So the choice was there to make. Do I continue with the stresses that I placed on myself and take the chance inadvertantly affecting the baby or do I just hibernate. I decided to hibernate.

One of the things that I did every day was stay in tune with my body. When I was tired I slept, when I was hungry I ate and when I was feeling fat and lonely, I felt fat and lonely. I allowed myself to be and feel what I was. I think that this is a gift to be able to know what you are feeling and go with it. When I try to fight how I am feeling, it lingers. When I go with the flow of the day, it disappears quickly. Remember people, energy. What you put out there is there!

So, my intention for you all today is to take a moment and tune in to your body and how you are really feeling about your life. Are you pushing yourself too much, are you doing things to fill yourself up so you don't have to look at how your life is going or what you are not feeling?

And always remember, we are in this together.

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Secret, how hard is it really?

Hey Everyone. It's been a while again. I am hibernating but am feeling better. I hope you are all well.

How many of you have ever heard of the book or DVD called, "The Secret?"
I was introduced to it about 6 months ago and it changed the way I look at life. Although I think that the way I look at things are different to begin with, the movie just re-affirmed how I feel and improved my outlook on things.

The whole idea is based on the Law of Attraction. What that means in the most basic of terms is that when I think of something and I put a negative spin on it or feel negatively about the thought, I emit negativity into the universe. Therefore, based on The Law of Attraction, I am inadvertantly attracting negativity.

But, and here's the best part, when I think of things and see them through positive eyes and am always grateful, very hard to do unless you practice, I attract positivity into my life.

I always end my blog with, "My intention for you today is ........" None of you know or some of you might know that when I am sending out good intentions to others, I am attracting good vibes, karma, energy, etc back to me. Is this selfish? I think not!

I and we can make a decision on a daily basis to either fuel our lives with positive energy or negative energy. It really is a choice and some of us have to work much harder than others to remain positive. I have been working on it now for about 15 years and gratitude has changed my life and I beleive given me a life beyond my wildest dreams.

My book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, incorporates a lot of the Law of Attraction. Now, I didn't know that while I was writing it, but after seeing the DVD, I realized that this was the case. I just really think that living in gratitude can change all of our lives.

Just remember, saying your grateful and acting as if you are grateful are two different things. Walk the walk people. Talk is cheap. Whenever my son or daughter say, "I'm sorry," I say back to them, "Sorry is doing the right thing." My husband started saying that to them when my son was very little and it stuck. It's sort of like a family motto. I guess the lesson there is that talking is just talking, action is actually doing the things you are apparently sorry for.

So, there you have it.

My intention for all of you today is to feel positive. Go out and get "The Secret" or you can always get my book!!!!

And always remember, we are in this together!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

I would love to know what you think...............

Hey everyone. I haven't blogged in a while. Like I said in previous blogs, I am hibernating because I am pregnant with baby #4. All is well with little ?? and I am feeling more energetic lately but still seem to have to take that nap.

Anyway, the other night I spoke at a local Women's Organization about the Circle of Sisterhood, which is the first chapter in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. The talk went very well and a few women purchased the book.

The next day, I received a very interesting email from one of the women. I responded promptly, as you will read, and feel I was very diplomatic. Nonetheless, she brought up some issues that she felt necessary to voice immediately regarding Chapter #8 in the book. The title of the chapter is "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'." I am posting the email she sent, leaving her name out of course, and my response.

Please feel free to be honest regarding this blog. I have to be honest. I love the controversy and feel that it is wonderful that someone would feel so strongly about my book. Whether that feeling be positive or negative isn't the issue.

So, hold onto your bootstraps, away we gooo........

Kerri, It was a pleasure to meet you and chat with you at the Working Woman's Forum. I love your enthusiasm and sense of humor. When I got in bed I read your book. While I realize that your book represents your personal opinions. You write of a system for living that you claim works for you, which is good for you BUT, in general terms, I found your book, your philosophy and your methods for living a happy life to be seriously disturbing. There is absolutely nothing empowering about submissiveness. Perhaps a better title for your book would be "How to use sex to manipulate your husband" Basically you suggest that a good marriage exists when a man provides for his family and a woman provides him with sex on demand. This thinking is, as you suggest, simple. It is also antiquated, unenlightened and represents the lowest level of human existence. All humans have basic needs - financial, physical/sexual, intellectual, spiritual, emotional. To expect one person (your husband) to fulfill all of your needs is unreasonable - this is where having women friends can be fulfilling. I could go on and on but what I wanted to express to you most was how risky it is for women to accept the thinking that they must satisfy their husbands sexual needs in order to have a good marriage. This would be ideal if the wife, genuinely wanted to share herself with her husband in that way every time he was "in need". Women have the right to say no to anything that they do not want. You say be honest, how honest are you when you are acting out of fear of loosing your financial provider? How do you suggest women realize they have value as individuals if you believe they are only valuable as sex objects to their husbands. You say "My husband is my rock and my children are my life" - wouldn't it be more appropriate to say my husband is my sugar daddy and therefore I have a nice life with my children? While I admire the fact that you stand up and proclaim yourself in these matters, I honestly fear for the women who may suffer from a lack of self esteem who ignore your disclaimer and put your ideas with respect to being submissive to their husbands (or men in general) into action in their lives. Wrong direction, sister! I'd love to talk to you in more detail Kerri. I hope you will contact me.

Now, here it my response......

Hello,

I am very sorry that you were so negatively affected by the book. Luckily, it is my opinion and is a system that worked for me and apparently many other women who have read the book. I honestly must say that your response is not the norm and I have obviously struck a chord with my chapter on spousal relations. Did you read the rest of the book or did you just focus on that one chapter?? My book is not only about fulfilling a husbands needs. That is one chapter and I have a feeling that something is going on here that I am not aware of. I hope you will look into that.

I welcome your comments because they help me realize how wonderfully different we all are in our opinions and life choices. To refer to my husband as my "sugar daddy" is somewhat underhanded and cruel, but again, I welcome what you have to say because whenever someone puts their opinions and way of being out there in the universe, they are exposed to criticism. I guess it would be easier to sit at home and just be critical of everyone else who is trying to make a change in the world.

As for a financial provider being the sole reason why I would be happy is just plain silly and juvenile. My happiness stems from a solid marriage, meditation, friendship, etc. To take a wonderful statement about my family in the dedication and twist it into something negative and sordid is disturbing to me. But luckily we are able to voice our opinions freely and openly. Again I would suggest you look into why you were just SO disturbed by the sex chapter.

I am very financially sound and if were left alone tomorrow, would continue to live my life as I am now, being very capable of supporting myself and my children. Luckily, because I am not selfish and SHARE my life with my spouse, it is very unlikely that this will happen.

Being empowered does not mean being alone or being so self sufficient that I isolate myself from those people that matter to me most. I am very happily married to a wonderful man who does everything in his power to be a good husband. I am proud to be able to refer to my husband as my rock because marriage is about two people who work together. Not one person who makes all the decisions in the relationship and is obviously the bully. Maybe our descriptions of a "good husband" differ. Would you have felt better if I wrote that withholding sex from my husband and not fullfilling his and my needs until I "felt like it" was a better choice? Suggesting that a woman does not have the right to say "no" is ridiculous and is not found anywhere in the book. Maybe if we all paid a little more attention to what our spouses were feeling, there wouldn't be so much divorce in our society.

Having chosen to stay home with my children is a life choice that was made by myself and I have never had to "manipulate" anyone sexually in my life to get anything. Again I am forced to wonder why this upset you so.

Husbands and wives MUST connect sexually and if that strikes a negative chord, then I apologize for your reaction, but I will not apologize for what works.

I am so happy that you decided to tell me what you think because it just reinforces my decision to write this book and put my experiences out there to women who are in the same position as myself in this time of my life. I am a young women raising small children and LOVE IT!

I would like to say again how nice it was to hear from you. I will be sure to give my husband an extra big hug tonight and tell him how much I appreciate him. The wonderful thing is that he will return the gesture and we will go on with our lives as happy as we are now.

I have no problem discussing this in more detail with you constructively and am surprised that you didn't mention your concerns when I spoke to you this morning. Maybe you find it easier to voice your very crude statements, which apparently flow so freely through email and not in person. I can assure you that it would be a heated debate. Constructive criticism is very different from brutality and the latter is obviously your method of criticism which will be met with the same reponse.

You may assume that I am a "submissive" individual, but I can assure you that is false!

Regards,
Kerri Cartelli


I would really love to hear what you think.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

A little stress here, a little stress there........

Hey Everybody. Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been very busy, mostly in my head. A couple of weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant with baby number 4. I have to say that since then, my heads been a little cloudy. I suddenly have a whole new set of priorities. The first being to make sure that I rest and take care of myself as best I can.

I am looking at this pregnancy very differently then the last three. One day I was speaking with the obstetrician, this is years ago after the birth of my last child, and he described pregnancy in a very interesting way. I was concerned with getting pregnant again because at the time we "planned" on having four children. Anyway he said that I had to look at pregnancy as if I were a bear. He said when a mother bear gets pregnant, she goes into her cave to hibernate. While hibernating she rests, does as little as possible to exert herself, eats properly and just plain takes care of herself. At the end of the pregnancy she emerges from her cave with a healthy baby cub.

What I took from this explanation was that rest is the most important part of pregnancy. Plenty of rest and as little stress as possible!

How many of you can say that you work on relieving stress in your daily life?
Do you notice that when you are stressed out that you just don't feel well?
Do you feel more tired and cranky?
It is harder for you to enjoy life?

I agree with the stress explanation whole heartedly. I know for a fact that stress is very dangerous to a growing baby. I also know that it is fairly simple to keep stress levels at a minimum. I think it is a choice. I also think it takes work though.

If I want my day to go smoothly, I have to plan for it. Since finding out I was pregnant I had to drop out of a couple of commitments that I had taken on. I had to look at it through the eyes of a responsible mother and not through the eyes of a people pleaser.

Take for example the first commitment I had to drop out of. I was teaching religious education every Tuesday night while my kids were in class. The stress of getting them there early enough so that I could be there for my students began taking its toll. I was rushing my own children and myself like crazy so that I could show up for the other kids. In my eyes that was not the priority. My children are the priority. So I quit. The class will not fall apart. I won't get dirty looks and nasty phone calls from parents. Life will go on. The children will continue to learn from a qualified catechist and I have taken a step toward hibernation.

There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to make choices that seem unfair. But when we look at the big picture, we can see clearly what needs to be done. I pray every day for guidance, patience, tolerance and expansion of my territories. I think the latter prayer is the explanation for this sudden pregnancy, but that's another story.

So my intention for you all today is to try to figure out how you can release one stressor in your life. Try not to make the holiday season a burden on yourself. It is a wonderful time of giving and family. It is a time to reflect on the past year and see how you did and what things you can change to make your life better in the new year. Remember, baby steps!

And always remember, we are in this together!
Kerri

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!!!!

I want to extend a very Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and find peace, serenity and family.

I am sending out my love to all of you out there in the universe in the hopes that you all find the peace you are looking for.

Remember, in the next few days to accept the positive intentions that are floating around.

Gratitude is the meaning of this time of year, so I wish for all of you that you stand where your feet are and bask in the glory of you.

Love, peace and serenity throughout this holiday.

Kerri