A little stress here, a little stress there........

Hey Everybody. Sorry I haven't written for a while. I've been very busy, mostly in my head. A couple of weeks ago, I found out I was pregnant with baby number 4. I have to say that since then, my heads been a little cloudy. I suddenly have a whole new set of priorities. The first being to make sure that I rest and take care of myself as best I can.

I am looking at this pregnancy very differently then the last three. One day I was speaking with the obstetrician, this is years ago after the birth of my last child, and he described pregnancy in a very interesting way. I was concerned with getting pregnant again because at the time we "planned" on having four children. Anyway he said that I had to look at pregnancy as if I were a bear. He said when a mother bear gets pregnant, she goes into her cave to hibernate. While hibernating she rests, does as little as possible to exert herself, eats properly and just plain takes care of herself. At the end of the pregnancy she emerges from her cave with a healthy baby cub.

What I took from this explanation was that rest is the most important part of pregnancy. Plenty of rest and as little stress as possible!

How many of you can say that you work on relieving stress in your daily life?
Do you notice that when you are stressed out that you just don't feel well?
Do you feel more tired and cranky?
It is harder for you to enjoy life?

I agree with the stress explanation whole heartedly. I know for a fact that stress is very dangerous to a growing baby. I also know that it is fairly simple to keep stress levels at a minimum. I think it is a choice. I also think it takes work though.

If I want my day to go smoothly, I have to plan for it. Since finding out I was pregnant I had to drop out of a couple of commitments that I had taken on. I had to look at it through the eyes of a responsible mother and not through the eyes of a people pleaser.

Take for example the first commitment I had to drop out of. I was teaching religious education every Tuesday night while my kids were in class. The stress of getting them there early enough so that I could be there for my students began taking its toll. I was rushing my own children and myself like crazy so that I could show up for the other kids. In my eyes that was not the priority. My children are the priority. So I quit. The class will not fall apart. I won't get dirty looks and nasty phone calls from parents. Life will go on. The children will continue to learn from a qualified catechist and I have taken a step toward hibernation.

There comes a time in all of our lives when we have to make choices that seem unfair. But when we look at the big picture, we can see clearly what needs to be done. I pray every day for guidance, patience, tolerance and expansion of my territories. I think the latter prayer is the explanation for this sudden pregnancy, but that's another story.

So my intention for you all today is to try to figure out how you can release one stressor in your life. Try not to make the holiday season a burden on yourself. It is a wonderful time of giving and family. It is a time to reflect on the past year and see how you did and what things you can change to make your life better in the new year. Remember, baby steps!

And always remember, we are in this together!
Kerri

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!!!!

I want to extend a very Happy Thanksgiving to one and all.

I hope you all have a wonderful holiday and find peace, serenity and family.

I am sending out my love to all of you out there in the universe in the hopes that you all find the peace you are looking for.

Remember, in the next few days to accept the positive intentions that are floating around.

Gratitude is the meaning of this time of year, so I wish for all of you that you stand where your feet are and bask in the glory of you.

Love, peace and serenity throughout this holiday.

Kerri

Would you rather be nice or dead????

I usually never post things I get forwarded to me online but I thought these tips were great.

Because of recent abductions in daylight hours,refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know.

After reading these crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

• Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! The outer elbow is strong, however I learned this in a safety class....if someone ever tries to grab you by putting their arm around your neck so that their inner elbow joint is facing you...drop your chin into that area. The attacker can hold as hard as (most likely) he wants, but you will still be able to breathe as he will be holding your chin and not closing off your wind pipe.
  
• Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
  
  If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

• Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
  
  If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
  
• A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
• Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat .
• If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
  
• If you have a remote control key tag..."accidentally" hit the alarm key...you may not draw attention from anyone, but the potential guy in the van next to you doesn't know that.
  
• Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.
  
• ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
  
• I would caution against being the only one in the elevator lest the perp gets in on the next floor and now you are alone with him.
• If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a zig -zag pattern!
  
• As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

************* Here it is *******

• Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.

I'd like you to send this link to all the women you know. It may save a life. Guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well. Like I said in the subject line, would you rather be nice or dead?????

Give the gift of health this Holiday Season!

Give the Gift of What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, this
Holiday Season!

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know that you are giving your friends and loved ones the gift of mental health this holiday season rather than trying to figure out what it is that they want.

Let’s face the facts, most of us, receive gracefully, but how many times have you found yourself saying, “I love it!” But you’re really thinking, “How many sweaters does one person actually need?”

We don’t want to be ungrateful people, but the sad truth here is that most of the presents we give out are either returned or thrown in the closet only to one day be either re-gifted or thrown in a Goodwill bag.

Let’s start off the New Year right! Let’s start the New Year on the path to health and a new feeling of empowerment.

So say goodbye to the long lines at the department store and the jolly cranky people in Macy’s. Say hello to a new way of living!

Believe me, Thanksgiving is next week and we’re going to hear those jingle bells soon enough. It’s not too early to start shopping and my book is just a click away.

Ho, Ho, Ho, and all that good stuff.

Ciao from your Amigo,
Kerri Cartelli

When Life Throws Us Curveballs!

Did you ever notice that once you finally have a plan of the way things are going to start going in your life, that all of a sudden life throws you a curveball? Some are soft balls and some are hard.

So, what do you do when all at once all the plans you had and made for yor immediate, and not so immediate future, are changed? Life is a funny thing. Some issues cause you to step back and take a good look at why this issue may have come your way. Some issues may cause you to feel a little sorry for yourself, but no matter what issue it is, isn't it the best thing to look at it through positive eyes?

In the past I've talked a lot about negative eyes and positive eyes. Situations only affect us negatively if we look at them that way. It is so much easier looking at life viewing everything that comes your way as a blessing rather than an inconvenience. I am at the point in my life to know enough about these curveballs. I usually catch them, sit with them for a while and say, "Okay, I guess my plans are changing." Remember, nothing is set in stone and if your ideas about how your life was going must change, well then also realize that nothing is cancelled, it's just postponed.

My intention for you all today is to always try, even though it's hard, to look at life through positive eyes.

And always remember, we are in this together!

How do you balance all that you do???

I have to day that the hardest part of my life is balancing out all of the things that I do. I talked yesterday about the importance of taking care of yourselves and doing things that bring you fulfillment.

Today I wanted to talk about the household chores. A while back I was introduced to a website called www.flylady.com. On this site you will find a whole program for keeping your house in tip top shape but doing it on a schedule.

I know that the way that I always end up doing it is looking around and saying holy !@#$ when did this mess happen?

I then have to take a whole day, doing nothing else, and clean the house from top to bottom. That doesn't even include the laundry. We all know how I love laundry.

So, the Fly Lady gives you a whole program for cleaning and purging your house so that it isn't that bad to clean in the first place. Go to the site and make your life easier. You'll be glad you did.

Have a great weekend. It's a light one today.
Don't spend your whole weekend cleaning!

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Are you living for you or for everyone else????

Hey Everyone. I was sitting here this morning thinking about how much of my happiness in life is reliant upon others' happiness. Am I only happy if those around me are getting what they want, or does my contentment with my life come from within. You know, that Power Within I've been talking about so much.

Well, in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I talk a lot about self reliance. One of the main lessons in the book is about how we, as women, should not rely on anyone else for our peace of mind. Yet, even if we are working steadfastly on our progress and in our program, we always fall back into that "taking care of everyone" place.

Why is that?

After thinking about it for a little while I've come to the conclusion that as little girls we were taught that our job was to take care of others in spite of our feelings. Put their needs and wants first, then think about ourselves. The problem with that is that when you are constantly putting other people's wants and needs before your own, you never get to yourself.

So, how can we change this without becoming selfish?

I think that it is a process of baby steps. I've learned in the last year or so that as long as I am taking care of my husband and my children's needs, i.e. house, food, love, I can then focus on my own wants. Everyday, I take care of the children in the morning. Make sure they are fed and ready for school, clean up the room and make the house liveable again. I don't know what happens overnight but the little elves must be out making a mess. I then sit down and write my blogs.

My blogs have become an outlet for me to talk about what it is that is on my mind for that day. And while I am writing, I sort of work out the issue right here. It is a wonderful tool and I seriously think that for those of you who do not like to write in a book, a blog is the way to go. Email me if you want to learn more about setting up a blog! Remember, it takes a lot of work to get people to actually read your blog so if you were worried about someone you know finding it, stop worrying. It's highly unlikely unless you give them the direct link.

When I finish my blog, I feel fulfilled for the day. I feel like I've done something for me. That works. If you need to take a walk, read a book, garden, then go for it. Because you won't find fullfillment in that bowl of Cheerios you're dumping in the toilet, or following the kids around with a broom. Then, well in my case, I just start feeling like a housekeeper and a nanny. The other benefit is that your children are seeing that Mom takes care of herself as well as them. It's a very valuable lesson to teach your daughters especially. They are going to grow up to be you and marry someone just like Daddy. Whether you like it or not!

My intention for you all today is to take a moment and think about what you do on a daily basis to fill yourself up just a little. Baby steps is the way to go and you will definately feel your Power Within flourishing.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Be careful with that Genie!!!

I am sure you have all heard the story about the Genie in the bottle.
Well it's a very interesting story and it really related to all of us.

Here's the story!
The person comes across a bottle, they open it and out pops a genie.
I will grant you three wishes that genie says.
Here's the catch!
What do you wish for???
Well in most cases the person first wishes for something like a million bucks!
Wow, they get a million bucks, but the person doesn't make the wish specific enough to say, I wish for a million bucks through my book sales, or I wish for a million bucks from the sale of my house, etc.
So, guess what happens?
The million bucks comes from a bank, so the police show up at the wishee's door.
So, the next wish has to be to get out of jail. (Logically)
And, the last wish in most cases is, I wish I never found this stupid bottle.

What do you all wish for on a daily basis? When you pray, are you specific enough with your Higher Power so he know exactly what you want? When you send intentions out into the universe, do you put out there what you want and how you want to receive it?

My intention for you all today is to be careful what you wish for!!!
You just might get it!

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Honesty, honesty, honesty!!!!

Hey Everybody. It's been an eventful morning. All the kids are off from school today. Nuf said. I want to talk today about honesty. In my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I talk a lot about honesty. Being honest with ourselves about where we are in our lives is so important.

Sometimes I get very excited about new things going on in my life. The excitement often masks the things that I am not facing on a daily basis, i.e. the laundry. By the way, the laundry is my least favorite thing to do. So, although my new ventures on continuing on the path of my destiny is so wonderful and imperative to my spiritual growth, I have to always stay grounded in what I know to be true. The truth for me today is that I am a mother and wife. These are first and foremost. How do I keep this balance? I constantly am checking my motives in what I am doing and making sure that what needs to get done gets done.

There are people in my life who have real issues. Some are uncontrollable. And although they have a set course to continue on their path to recovery, their illness causes them to waiver and step off the path every once in a while. This is where honesty comes in. The next question is are they capable of being totally honest with themselves or does their illness inhibit their ability to make the right judgements. This I have no answer for.

We should always take stock of how truthful we are being with ourselves. Are we looking at the reality of the day or are we looking at what we wish reality would be. Wishful thinking is not truth! And in cases of those of us with mental illness, we have to be doubly honest and forge through the illness by asking for help and accepting it.

We all have lapses of being open to assistance, but then we pull back and say, "I don't need it!"
Mental illness is an insidious disease and sometimes we are not capable of honesty because we are in a different place in our minds. Give yourself the gift of allowing someone else to help.
If you suffer from mental illness, it is okay to not be right.

My intention for you today is to practice looking at yourselves and being honest about where your feet are right now.

And always remember, we are in this together!

Kerri

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!!!!!

Hey everybody. Hope you all had a great weekend. Last Sunday my husband brought me to see Monty Python's Spamalot on Broadway for my birthday. Last night I was outside with him talking about something and he reminded me of this song they sing in the movie as well as the play. Always look on the Bright Side of Life. It is so funny because while they are singing the song in the movie, they are being put to death. In the play it is not quite so gory but the gist of the song is, and I may be reading too much into it, is that no matter what is going on in my life, I have the choice to either wallow in uncontrollable circumstances or look at it through my positive eyes.

Yes I've blogged about this before, but I think that we are constantly reminded of things for a reason. That is why I blog, so that I am forced to look at myself and how I am feeling everyday. I know that if I always do the next right thing, I am walking towards my Higher Power's will for me. I want to expand my territories, as the Prayer of Jabez speaks on. I want to open myself up for all that is due me and help as many people in my lifetime as I am supposed to.

My main focus and priority is always at home first. But I think that if I put myself out there and am always willing to do for others, I am blessed abundantly.

This weekend I was sitting in my living room with my kids playing music. My son Domenic has found a new interest in being a guitar player. So he has been picking up a guitar I bought two years ago for the kids and writing his own music. I know how much being able to write songs helped me as a kid and I am elated that I am passing this gift to my children. They will always have an outlet for their emotions and not have to turn to other things to make them feel better. I hope!

So, my intention for you all today is to always look on the bright side of life and realize that we are all here for a reason. Keep your eyes open or you will miss it.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri

Are You Doing the Next Right Thing???

Hey Everyone. Yesterday, I saw that Sister Cindy Mahoney passed away from Lung Cancer due to her work down at the World Trade Center. I watched her interview and listened to how much work she did down there. It suddenly struck me how much the volunteers down there have been suffering since they helped down there.

So, I started thinking about selflessness. How many of you can truly say that you give to others selflessly. I learned a long time ago that when we give to others, our problems are lessened greatly. It's funny, I am asking you all this question but I have to also pose the question to myself. How much of myself do I give. Am I willing to give to others if it means taking away from myself or my family? It a hard question to answer.

So, let's all start with baby steps. I've blogged about this before and I go into it in more detail in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. Can we all make a small commitment to do a little something for someone else.

I know that there are many times when I get frustrated with everyone else around me because things don't seem to be going my way. Should I blame them? Why am I so focussed on myself? Why is it that everyday I am thinking of me? Why, why, why, blah, blah, blah........

Just think of it this way, giving feels good. It's like that commercial on television. One guy picks up the baby doll, someone sees him and holds the door for someone else, someone sees him and does the next right thing, etc. If we could all just do what we know in our hearts is right, wouldn't that be great? What would the next right thing for you to do today be?

My intention for you all today is to do the next right thing that is in your heart. When grandma calls and you see it on the caller id, pick up the phone. You could make her day!

And always remember, we are in this together!

When was the Last Time You Asked God to Bless You?

Hey Everyone. Well I think everyone has recuperated from Halloween. The kids have already forgotten about the candy. Me hiding it helps. Anyway, we're moving into the holiday season and I will put up all the Thanksgiving decorations today. Some people ask me why I decorate so early for the holidays, especially my husband, and I always answer, "because it makes me feel good!"

Do you guys do things that make you feel good?
I find that it's the little things that I do that really matter in my life. Some of us are always in such a rush, that we've forgotten how the simple little things like sitting on the couch with one of the kids and just doing nothing is wonderful.
If you have a little pip squeek like I do, everytime you sit on the couch, she comes running over and yelling, "tickle me!" It's annoying now, but I know in 1 or 2 years, she won't be doing that anymore and I'll miss it. So, I just tickle her.

Today I wanted to talk about blessings. Don't worry, I'm not gonna get all religious on you, I just was wondering how many of you talk to your higher power. Sometimes we forget to do that. Some people call it praying, some call it meditation (which is actually listening to your higher power), and some just have a conversation with their HP. I am in the latter group. At night when I lay myself down to sleep, I think of all my successes for the day. What I did that day that was good and right. Then I talk to my HP and usually thank him for my blessings.

I received a book for my birthday from my Uncle Jim and Aunt Linda related to asking for blessings. The whole gist of the book is that God has blessings he would like to give us, but we never ask for them. The prayer is actually quite simple and it is something like, "God please bless me alot." That's it!

I never thought of asking God to bless me. I'm always asking God to bless everyone else in my life. People I know and people I don't know. But, what a great idea. Because when I am asking God to bless me, I am asking him to give me his blessings that he has in store for me, not what I actually want. That is my take so far on the book. I'll let you know more when I finish the book. It reminds me of the movie "The Secret." If you haven't seen that yet, you have to see it. It's awesome.

Anyway, today is a rainy day in Connecticut and I plan on doing laundry, cleaning up, working on my eWorkbooks, and enjoying my day stuck inside. Sometimes it's nice to be stuck inside.

Remember to watch out for my eWorkbooks. I am working on them feverishly and plan to have them for sale in the next couple of weeks on my website. They are books to help you work on the principles laid out in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women. Finding your Power Within has never been simpler.

My intention for you today is to connect with your Higher Power and ask him for his blessings. Ask him to bless you a lot. But keep your eyes open because it will probably happen quickly. Miracles happen every day but we usually miss them. Let me know what happens and I'll do the same.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Listen to my Interview on Everyday Giving Radio

Hey Everyone. I hope that you all had a great Halloween. I always enjoy spending time with the kids when they are sooo excited about something. I am also always happy when it's over. Let's face it. Halloween starts on October 1st and ends on Halloween. By Halloween evening I am all candied, pumpkined and costumed out.

So, a couple of weeks ago, I was interviewed by a fantastic guy named Roger Carr. He does a really wonderful thing. He interviews and makes accessible people in the world who give to others. If he feels that you are an individual who uses your life to give to others, he interviews you. So, clearly I was honored to be interviewed by him.

Please, go and listen to the interview. Don't forget to go to his main website, which is www.everydaygiving.com. Look at all of the wonderful things he is accomplishing through his work.

Also, if you know anyone who truly is amazing and uses their live to give to others, don't hesitate to let him know.

You can also subscribe to his blog and read up on what's going on in the world of giving.

Talk to you all tomorrow.

And always remember, we are in this together.

Kerri