Listen Up!!!!

How many of you have conversations every day? Do you find that at the end of that conversation, you feel drained? Was it like a battle of the stories, talking over each other, trying to get a word in? Sometimes, I find myself talking so much that my head is spinning. I might as well make a tape recording of my voice and play it over and over and over.

The point I am trying to make is that listening is so important. With all of the conversations I have in a day, it’s difficult to measure how much I’ve actually listened. What a disservice it is to those I am talking to. In my experience, I have learned that if I stop and actually listen to people, I am a much better communicator. I hear things that are important and that I can use to get through my day, or a problem I am having.

I find that when I actively listen, I mean really listen to those I am speaking with, I am building an honest and trusting relationship. I can know that I have given those I am in relationship with the respect that they deserve to actually want to know what they have to say.

Try not to talk so much today. Try to listen to what people are saying to you. Be it your spouse, children, parent, etc. You’ll find that you’ve been missing out. Put your problems aside and listen. It will give you gratitude for your life. You’ll be empowered. I promise!

Becoming a more effective and active listener is even harder then the latter. It is somuch easier to counsel than to be counseled. To react than to resist. To judge rather than be judged. Listening is a gift. To listen effectively in an honest relationship is the best gift we can give to each other. As children, we are constantly looking for attention. We are “attention addicts.” Any way I could get attention was the way for me. For example, when a child is listening to a story being read, how many times do they raise their hands to explain what is going on and how it relates to their lives. Rather than listening to the story, they feel the need to tell the reader every experience they’ve had that is similar to the story. I see this in adults all
the time.

Pay attention the next time you are on the telephone with a loved one or friend. Are you really listening to what they are saying or are you thinking of every way it relates to you. If we can take a little bit of everything we hear from others and put it to work in our lives, we are able to open our minds to other ideas. There are many opportunities that present themselves to us on a daily basis. I believe that the answers to all of my questions come through people. Many times, the answers come from people I would least expect to have the answers. One needs to be able to interpret and understand the message in the “here and now” without allowing preconceived notions to filter and distort the intentions of the person you are communicating with.

Excerpt from "What A Difference A Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women"