Do you respond or react??????

Hey everyone. I was thinking of this topic because when I was younger and didn't know much, oh what a few years does to you, I definately didn't have a good grasp on response and reaction. If anything happened in my life that threatened my being in control or caused me to fear in any way, I reacted. And boy did I react!

Let me explain my outlook on the difference between reaction and response. When I RESPOND to something, it is without emotional attchment. I don't lose control of how I am feeling about the situation or issue. I can think clearly, think it through and see the truth. Then I can deal with the circumstance and move on with my day in my power.

When I REACT, I am usually not thinking clearly. I am definately in my emotions and usually the outcome is not good.

Let's take a real life experience or scenario. I call up the cell phone company because my phone service isn't working. Now, I know I paid the bill. I know I didn't damage the phone in any way and there shouldn't be any problem. Right?

I am on the phone on hold for a good 20 minutes knowing that when I get an operator everything will work out fine. I am in my power thinking clearly. Great!

The operator gets on the phone, I give her all the information, she says, "No problem, let me transfer you to ................" Okay, this is normal, I'll only have to hold for a few seconds. She transfers me, it rings, and.................dial tone.

Now, be honest here. What would you do???????

I have to say that my first REACTION is F!@#$%^!!!!
Maybe I want to throw the phone through the window.
Maybe I decide I am going to call back and give them Hell.
How dare they treat ME this way.
ANGER!!!!!

So, based on the principles in my book, What a Difference a Day Makes: A Survival Guide for Women, I stop. Take a deep breath. Realize that it wasn't personal. I have to make the decision. Am I going to call back? Am I going to wait? So, I decide to RESPOND. I call back and explain what happened and because I didn't flip out, the operator really helps and I didn't ruin my day.

It's clear to me what the better outcome was. I know that if I weren't living in my power, I would have gotten nowhere. I would have let this one little phone call ruin my day. Maybe my week.

When I can stop, breath, and think clearly in moments of frustration and/or extreme emotion, my life is much easier.

What do you think?
What would you have done?
Do you have any suggestions about how you would have behaved differently?
Let me know.
Go to AskKerriCartelli and write away!!!! I look forward to hearing from you all.

My intention for you today is to be able to recognize your emotions. Are you reacting or responding. Take a look at yourself. Be honest. This one little (or big) exercise can change how you are feeling in a major way. Try it and let me know how you do. I welcome your comments and stories. I'll post some of them on my website.

And always remember, we're in this together!